Nicholas Wehunt

2007 SAM State Winner

Athens/Clarke County

Written Expression - High School

And The Music Never Stops

An Essay By Nicholas Wehunt

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach, or the middle of your heart, that comes on when you need to shine, but you can't even get your headlights on? That is the way I felt each day when I walked into Cedar Shoals High School. No matter how much I tried, I always wound up reaching up from the bottom – outside looking in. Even when I was looking in the fish bowl, I got lost in all the guppies. I finally walked inside, and then after I tunneled my way out of the hallway, I ended up in a classroom with 20 to 30 students. How was I supposed to focus? There was just not enough time for every student. At the end of the day, I just felt more behind.

I would go to my teachers. They would have me talk with other students, many of whom were equally confused. They would critique my study habits or the lack of substance represented by homework I completed. They would tell me to study with peers after school. They would explain to me that perhaps I needed to find different peers. They would shake their heads and just pat me on the back, but they never stopped to actually try and teach anything. Often, I simply wound up with no clue at all. I always thought that I was supposed to look to the teacher for actual instruction and not the students... but I guess I was wrong. I can’t solely blame the teachers, who have rude students, large classrooms, and little pay to boost their morale. There should not be so many students per teacher. They need to be paid better. Why does the school board feel like coaches are the best candidates to teach social studies, political science, and economics?

But don't try to answer that. I'm trying to find answers now, and I want you to better understand my personal situation. I am not a traditional student. It seems I've always been beating my head against all walls built by society that would have me mingle – become one more part of this extraordinary one-mind, hive, team-first mentality. I want to just be myself and feel the way I feel without having to conform my beliefs or natural instincts and curiosity to conclusions drawn from experiences that I cannot believe or identify with. I was never there.

Because I was never there – not in mind and often not in body – learning is not something I did much of the first two years of my "traditional" high school experience. I was contemplating dropping out and taking the test to get a GED. Most days when I got back home or to someone else's home after school, all of us would put our heads together and come up with one more wonderfully stupid thing to do. Getting stoned was a very popular activity, as was finding someone with a few years on them to manage some alcohol for everybody. Escaping – to somewhere else (anywhere else) – well, that is exactly what most of us were trying to do each day. And then we would start again.

That was about the time I found my mentor. Really, I suppose I should say my mentor found me. It turns out he's pretty much noted for finding success for throw-away students like me. He caused me to actually use my head and do some thinking. He was going to save me, but I didn't know it yet. He was not assigned to me, nor did the school assign him to me. He is a writer and a musician, and he runs a resume and advertising service. Together we gave Cedar Shoals two additional quarters with only slightly better results. Looking at my report card, folks didn't see any real progress at all. I was frustrated. He was frustrated. Ultimately, he suggested a different path. I was very happy to make the change and jumped at it. It was "Getting Better all the Time," as Lennon and McCartney put it. It was a bright and warm light in a world of darkness.

He introduced me to an organization calling itself Communities In Schools, which had opened Classic City Performance Learning Center® in Athens just a few years earlier. The idea is to catch stumbling students, or those who have already fallen down, and stand them up again. The program focuses individually on students, and the student/teacher ratio is much smaller than at our traditional high school. It does not appear to be a high security prison from the outside. That made me feel much better about going inside to begin with. My mentor explained that the school had actually been very successful with other students with whom he had worked. He told me their stories, but it sounded like he was telling mine. It turns out he was right about everything, but don't tell him that.

Classic City PLC introduced me to the first real learning I've ever done in my life, with a positive attitude about the whole thing. I work at my own pace and I know exactly where I'm trying to get. The teachers actually know and are concerned about the progress of every student. We are not treated like bad children in need of shock treatment. I can actually talk with my instructors, and they help with my specific needs. I've also been able to get some real-world experience through the community partnership focus at Classic City. I worked in a recording studio last semester, and some of my vocal work is now released on compact disc. I'm actually recording with two local bands, and I have found a new love -- songwriting and musical production. I'm no longer doing my art in spite of my high school; now, thanks to Communities and Schools and Classic City PLC, I'm creating art and working in my own community in conjunction with school.